Sunday, January 12, 2014


Our commentators are Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes.  It starts out with the special guest ring announcer, Ms. Elizabeth.  The guest time keeper is Luna Vachon and the bell is handled by Sherri Martel.

We are introduced to the contestant who drew number one….Mr. Perfect!!  And the contestant who drew number two…Ravishing Rick Rude!  The two battle back and forth for two minutes, then we are introduced to contestant number three…Doink the Clown!

Contestant number four is introduced at the four minute mark and it is…Dr. Death Steve Williams!  Steve puts a beat down on all three current members but no one is eliminated yet.  At the six minute mark we meet contestant number five…Mike Awesome!!  Awesome destroys everyone in the ring and at 6:35 seconds eliminates the first person, Doink the Clown.

At eight minutes, out comes number six…The Big Bossman.  Two minutes later at the 10 minute mark comes contestant number seven…Owen Hart.  Two more minutes brings us to the 12 minute mark and contestant number eight…The Texas Tornado Kerry Von Erich!  He lays out everyone with tornado punches, but still everyone survives elimination.

At 14 minutes, contestant number nine….Lance Cade.  Cade puts a beat down on several men, but mistakenly attempts a clothesline on a tired Rick Rude who is lying against the ropes.  Rude ducks and Cade is eliminated at 15:05.

At 16 minutes, contestant number 10 is…Steven Dunn!  Two minutes later at 18 minutes, we get contestant number 11…Bam Bam Bigelow!  He immediately eliminates Dunn at the 18:20 mark. 

To recap, currently in the ring are the guys who started numbers 1 and 2, pushing 19 minutes, Mr. Perfect and Rick Rude.  Also in the ring are Dr. Death Steve Williams, Mike Awesome, The Big Bossman, Owen Hart, Texas Tornado, and Bam Bam Bigelow.  Doink the Clown, Lance Cade, and Steven Dunn are eliminated.

At 20 minutes, contestant number 12….Chris Candido!  At 21:30 Dr. Death is tossed over the top by Mr. Perfect.  At 21:45, Candido is eliminated by the Big Bossman.

At 22 minutes, contestant number 13….Junk Yard Dog!!  He clotheslines Bossman over the top only seconds after entering the ring (22:20).  At 24 minutes, contestant number 14…Test!  At 26 minutes, contestant number 15…Earthquake!!  Earthquake immediately destroys everyone and eliminates JYD!

At 28 minutes, contestant 16…Hercules Hernandez!  At 28:35 Test is eliminated by Mike Awesome.  At 30 minutes we get contestant number 17…The British Bulldog!!

Half way through the Rumble and here is the recap.  Perfect and Rude are surviving after 30 minutes!!  Mike Awesome has been in for 24 minutes.  Owen Hart and Texas Tornado are all still in it, as are Earthquake, Hercules, and the British Bulldog.  Bam Bam, Steven Dunn, Dr. Death, Chris Candido, Lance Cade, Doink, the Bossman, JYD, and Test have all been eliminated.

At 32 minutes, contestant number 18….Chris Benoit!  Benoit takes out Mike Awesome at the 32:45 mark.  A great performance by Mike Awesome!  At 33:40 Benoit also eliminates Earthquake! 

At 34 minutes, contestant number 19…Crash Holly!  At 34:15 Benoit eliminates Hercules Hernandez.  Benoit has been dominant, eliminating 3 contestants in just over 2 minutes!!  Mr. Perfect and Rude are exhausted and being beaten down in corners but are surving! 

At 35:40, Crash Holly is eliminated by the British Bulldog.  Then at 36 minutes, we get contestant number 20…Road Warrior Hawk!    At 36:50 Bam Bam Bigelow is eliminated by Mr. Perfect.  A good showing for Bam Bam as he went for almost 20 minutes!

At 37:20, the Texas Tornado is eliminated by Hawk.  He had been in for 25 minutes!  At 38 minutes we get contestant number 21…The Macho Man Randy Savage!!!  Macho Man goes to work on everyone (Perfect, Rude, Bulldog, Owen, Benoit, and Hawk).

At 40 minutes, contestant number 22…Giant Gonzalez!!  Everyone gangs up on Gonzalez, but he is able to fend them off and lay out everyone.  At 42 minutes, out comes contestant number 23…Chris Kanyon!  At 44 minutes, contestant number 24…Ludvig Borga!  At 44:20 Kanyon and Owen are battling to throw each other over.  Macho Man comes up from behind them and eliminates them both!  Owen was in for 34 minutes!!

At 46 minutes, contestant number 25…Andre the Giant!!!  The whole ring comes to a stand still as they await the Giant.  Andre comes in and destroys everyone!!  But they all recover one by one and are able to put a beat down on Andre to slow him down.  At 47:30 Hawk is eliminated by the Macho Man who has now eliminated the last 3 people and looks to be the favorite to win!

At 48 minutes, contestant number 26…Brian Pillman!!  In an amazing feat of strength, Ludvig Borga single handedly eliminates Giant Gonzalez at the 48:50 mark!  But as he celebrates, he turns around is clotheslined out at 48:57 by Pillman.

So with only four to be revealed, we are left with Mr. Perfect and Rick Rude (pushing 50 minutes each!), Macho Man, Chris Benoit, British Bulldog, Andre the Giant and Brian Pillman in the ring.

At 50 minutes, contestant number 27…Yokozuna!!  Yoko cleans house and ends up face to face with Andre the Giant!  He and the Giant battle with no one getting the upper hand.  It’s then broken up as Macho, Perfect, and Benoit attack Yokozuna, while Rude, Bulldog and Pillman go after the Giant.  Pillman tries to set up a double team on Andre, but then tries to double cross Rude.  Rude reverses on him and eliminates Pillman at 51:40.

At 52 minutes, contestant number 28…Umaga!!  Umaga lays out everyone except for Andre.  He and Andre battle it out and Andre gets the upper hand and flattens Umaga.  Benoit tries to catch Andre off guard, but Andre flips Benoit over the top at the 53:00 mark!  Benoit was in for over 20 minutes!

At 54 minutes we get contestant number 29…Brian Adams (Crush)!  Andre the Giant is on a tear now.  He is laying out everyone.  At 54:25 he eliminates the Macho Man!  Then at 54:50 he eliminates Crush!  He is finally slowed down by everyone ganging up on him.  At 55:30, Umaga is eliminated by Ravishing Rick!

At 56 minutes, we get the final contestant, number 30…Eddie Guerrero!!  So in the ring right now:  Mr. Perfect and Rick Rude who started the whole thing as numbers 1 and 2!  Also there is British Bulldog (26 minutes, entered 17), Yokozuna (number 27), and Andre the Giant (number 25).

Eddie lights up everyone, but then is squashed by a belly to belly by Yokozuna and followed up by a Bonzai drop!!  As Eddie, Perfect, Bulldog and Rude lie in heaps, Yoko and Andre face off once more center ring.  This time though, Andre gets the upper hand.  He comes off the ropes to clothesline Yoko, but Yoko ducks and eliminates Andre at 58:40!

Down to five.  Yokozuna, Mr. Perfect, Ravishing Rick Rude, the British Bulldog and Eddie Guerrero.  The four smaller guys gang up on Yoko, but Perfect and Rude are exhausted and are laid out with headbutts and a superkick (respectively).

Bulldog eats a Samoan drop and is out of it.  Eddie battles courageously against Yoko on his own, but Yoko is just too powerful.  At  01:04:30, Eddie is eliminated by Yokozuna.

There you have it the final four.  Perfect, Rude, Bulldog, and Yoko.  It doesn’t last long though.  Right after Yoko eliminates Eddie, the other 3 guys gang up on Yoko and toss him over the top at 01:04:45.

After tremendous back and forth wrestling by the three remaining competitors, Bulldog is eliminated by Mr. Perfect at 01:10:00.  The two that started that whole thing more than an hour ago are the last two standing.  They’ve already shattered the record for longest time in a Rumble, but they go on to have a CLASSIC one on one battle.

Neither one attempts to eliminate the other, they just wrestle.  After another 15 minutes of EPIC GREATNESS, Rude and Perfect are spent.  Rude goes up top to hit a high flying move, but exhaustion has taken over and he loses his footing and falls to the outside, eliminating himself at 01:25:25.

The winner of the longest and best Royal Rumble ever…Mr. Perfect!  And since this is a dream Royal Rumble, I can have it lead to a dream Wrestlemania main event.  Mr. Perfect vs. Shawn Michaels for the World Title in an Iron Man Match!!  Perfect wins 1 fall to 0.

Order of entry:

1. Mr. Perfect

2. Rick Rude

3. Doink the Clown

4. Dr. Death Steve Williams

5. Mike Awesome

6. Big Bossman

7. Owen Hart

8. Kerry Von Erich

9. Lance Cade

10. Steven Dunn

11. Bam Bam Bigelow

12. Chris Candido

13. Junk Yard Dog

14. Test

15. Earthquake

16. Hercules Hernandez

17. British Bulldog

18. Chris Benoit

19. Crash Holly

20. Hawk

21. Macho Man Randy Savage

22. Giant Gonzalez

23. Chris Kanyon

24. Ludvig Borga

25. Andre the Giant

26. Brian Pillman

27. Yokozuna

28. Umaga

29. Crush

30. Eddie Guerrero

 

Order of elimination:

1. Doink the Clown (by Mike Awesome)

2. Lance Cade (by Rick Rude)

3. Steven Dunn (by Bam Bam)

4. Dr. Death (by Mr. Perfect)

5. Chris Candido (by Bossman)

6. Bossman (by JYD)

7. JYD (by Earthquake)

8. Test (by Mike Awesome)

9. Mike Awesome (by Benoit)

10. Earthquake (by Benoit)

11. Hercules Hernandez (by Benoit)

12. Crash Holly (by Bulldog)

13. Bam Bam (by Perfect)

14. Kerry Von Erich (by Hawk)

15. Chris Kanyon (by Macho Man)

16. Owen Hart (by Macho Man)

17. Hawk (by Macho Man)

18. Giant Gonzalez (by Borga)

19. Borga (by Pillman)

20. Pillman (by Rude)

21. Benoit (by Andre)

22. Macho Man (by Andre)

23. Crush (by Andre)

24. Umaga (by Rude)

25. Andre (by Yoko)

26. Eddie (by Yoko)

27. Yoko (by Bulldog, Perfect, and Rude)

28. Bulldog (by Perfect)

29. Rude (by Rude)

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